My wife is such a hog, she takes up all the space in our clothes closet. Every month she budgets out a certain amount of money, goes down to the Mile and shops till she drops. Literally. I haven’t seen this many dresses and pant suits since I last visited the Swap-o-Rama. (Which was only once.) There’s hardly any room for my skimpy little wardrobe. I can barely get my golf shoes and golf equipment in there! I was telling John about this at work and he said why don’t you go and buy some Rubbermaid organizers? Rubber—what’s that? You’ve never heard of Rubbermaid? he asked incredulously. No, isn’t that some company that makes plastic containers or something? Well, actually, they do, John said. I was thinking of Tupperware. But they also make closet holders that fit neatly over your closet rods, and they make laundry hampers specifically designed for different loads of clothes too. John is really up on these things. He’s at least as domesticated as Elizabeth is and he’s never, ever mentioned a girlfriend or anything—I wonder. Anyway, I mentioned this idea to Elizabeth the other night and she told me she was thinking the same thing too. In fact, she said, come on upstairs for a minute. There they were, all in place. And there was plenty of room for all my clothes! “I’m going to divorce you and marry John,” I said, kissing my wife on the lips. She broke free and stared at me a second. “Just kidding!” I laughed.